Creepy happenings…

I can never quite understand why people always strike me as creepy. Maybe it’s their mannerisms or maybe it’s just that vibe they’re sending me.

Like, how am I supposed to know if this said PERSON is gonna eat when they go to somewhere new? I know you’re scared, and worried but I’m not a nutritionist. I dunno if he’ll come back looking like a skeleton. Honestly, I dun have the answers. “Please dun badger me!” That’s what I’m screaming in my head as you’re speaking.

I really dunno if the person he’s going to see will be upset to see him. I’m sure they’ll be because it’s a big damn surprise. Sometimes people dun like to be taken by surprise. Plus, you asked me several times about this eating sitch and how that person might feel and I’m sure that person isn’t aware at all.

I am also very aware I should call certain people and keep in touch, but I’m busy and they’re busy. Plus, the time differences. /: I can’t keep up with everything all the time maaaaaan. Now onto my next issue.

I dun really need a friend when I’m lonely, or a text buddy every hour, especially one who freaks me out every time they engage in conversation with me. Thank gawd someone saved me from meeting this… “Traveler” as you called it. I now know what it is and thank goodness I was spared. I dun even like when people  touch me in odd ways. I get a really bitchy face put on.

And no, you can’t hook me up with a person because you think we’d match. Especially since it seems like a blind date. -____________- It’s not even right because of ‘circumstances’.  Poor person. We dun even know each other.

I’m much happier not being badgered over petty things. Although now it’s my fault for saying I’m bored because you tried to engage me into another conversation… He’ll be fine, hopefully. I can’t stress this enough. My brain felt like it was about to pop. I felt like I was about to shrink into an amoeba or blow up like confetti. 

Thank you anonymous person for making my day so creepy. Please dun make feel so small next time. If there’s a next time. D:

Why? [That’s the question of the day.]

Why is it that when you want something, it’s so far out of your reach that it seems like a waste of time to keep trying? Why is it that a dream is so much better than this reality we’re forced to stay in? Why is it that nothing [almost] goes according to plan? Why is that when someone hurts you, it’s so much different when you do the same to them and everything backfires on you? Why must I question this?

Falling… Sinking… Breaking…

I feel as though I went the wrong way… I asked him a bunch of stuff hoping to get an honest answer and in the end one of the things he said right before I did was “I need to know if i should expect a text in the morn or not” like…then everything came rushing back to me and I feel so..numb.. and I’m near the urge to cry but I can’t because I’m willing myself not to. I’m trying to have the control but.. It hurt just to say it.. I feel like shit, like something, just broke.. it was my heart. DX I feel like I need to hide, to run away from what happened today, from everything.. It sucks to always be me. Why is it that I always seem to have to choose? Why is it that the hardest things to do are always the most important? Why is that I dun have any of the answers to the questions I’m asking YOU, that I’m asking MYSELF, that I’m asking the WORLD, I hope that there’s no resentment or bitterness to him. I feel so small…

“if he was the right one you wouldn’t have had to go through any of that.”-She said, but who’s to say what was right? or wrong? It’s been said and done, and I can’t change that.

The sun?

It thinks it’s so cool. It stays out hours longer than it should. It bothers me cuz I dun like being THAT hot for hours. It’s a ball of burning fire. Why torture the world’s soul by staying out so long sun? Why? O.O Dun you know, we burn staring into your ‘eyes’.

Time. It’s essential.

What I dun get it is when you start to count down to the very seconds as if the essence of time was so precious you needed to remember it exactly. Well I’ve never been one to count down to the very second of my last day. It seems as if I’ve already ran out of that very essence that I feel so incomplete by going on a day to day basis. As if time itself has worn out to the very smallest grain of sand I can possibly find in a cup.

Who knew.

I’m always being told I’m never there for you. But where were YOU when I needed you? You might have been around but you judged me. You once said “I’ll always be here when you need me, no matter what time of day or night.” But that day I needed you to be the most understanding person for me, all you said was “What do you want me to do about it?” Like, honestly, is that really how you’ll react when something bigger happens? I’m hurt but you dun see it because I tried to drop it and never bother you again. But here you are. “Again, you’re not there when I need you” But honestly, who could blame me? How was I supposed to know? I’m not a mind reader. Does that make me a bad person?! /:

Addictions!

She says “Hey, it’s better than being an alcoholic.” But is it really better when you start to tweak out on a computer for facebook apps? I think not. Like you can spend countless, and I do mean countless hours staring at that screen just playing apps. Church is supposed to be sacred place right? But since when does drinking count as church? So she hasn’t drank for a few months, but still. It’s becoming more and more likely that something will happen. You’re almost as crazed as rabid animal on steroids. It’s just not healthy! I sometimes believe this addiction to apps will become so serious therapy might be needed.

Godzilla Boobs Cont.

Like of course that sounds like the most amazing thing in the world. Godzilla with boobs, who wouldn’t want to check him out?! XD I wonder why no one else but my friend thought of it? But since when did he need to have to wear a bra?!

Why is it that when I say or do the wrong thing it’s bad, but when other people do it, it’s perfectly fine? I really dun understand it. What makes them so much more special than anyone else? Although I believe in fairness, equality, peace but that doesn’t exist anymore does it?